Welcome to my life

I find it amazing how I get any joy out of life. I realize that sounds terribly depressing, but nonetheless, it is true. I find so much joy in living: my family, the beauty that exist all around me in nature, friends who would give their right arm for me, my relationship with God . . . Yet there is a shadow that hangs over me most of the time. I love how Over the Rhine puts it in "Latter Days"

"There is a me you would not recognize. I call it the shadow of myself."

I suppose in many ways that is how I experience my life. There is a part of me that I allow very few to see or know, and then there is the Jessica--bright and smiling--who the world sees.

My writing here is an attempt to change that. I don't know how to let others into my world--into my battle--but I want to try. So read, learn, listen, and then love. I need grace, I need love, and I need acceptance.

I also write out of hope that others who are fighting their own battles with an eating disorder, or who love someone who is, will read and be encouraged.

I've learned that I can't get to the top of the mountain as fast as I'd like to and as fast as those who love me would like me to. So, I invite you--whether you know me or not--come along on my journey, and see the beauty along the way.