Why Vegetarian?

About two months ago, I decided to cut all land-dwelling meat out of my diet. I still eat fish and animal products such as milk and eggs--although I do try to drink soy milk as often as possible. I made this decision for two reasons, one primary and one secondary. The secondary reason has to do with all of the little "extras" that have been appearing in our meat and animal products over the past several decades. In order to continue meeting the demand for higher quantities and cheaper product, the meat industry has responded by using a cocktail of chemicals, antibiotics and hormones which cause the animals to remain healthier and grow at unnatural, accelerated rates. These various chemicals, antibiotics and hormones are stored in the fat and muscle of the animals and transfer to humans when the meat is consumed. Because Americans eat meat on such a regular basis, we are ingesting these additives in high amounts and doctors/researchers are beginning to study and report the negative effects they are having on our health. A good friend of mine who is a doctor recently shared with me a study he read outlining the effects of hormone additives to meat and milk on young girls going through puberty. They followed groups of girls controlling for those eating meat/milk and those not and found the hormones in the meat/milk linked to the early onset of menstruation. Some girls were getting their periods as early as 8-10 years old.

As important as my health is to me (okay, maybe it's not that important. I do smoke after all) the above reason is not my primary reason for choosing to be a vegetarian. My main reason is based on information I have learned about the worldwide impact of consuming meat--particularly the high amounts of meat Americans eat. First is the sheer amount of land that is required to raise animals, particularly cattle. I don't remember the numbers but the basic premise is that it takes a significantly larger area of land to raise cattle which feeds only a small amount of people than it takes to raise grains and feed a much larger amount of people. To me, this is one small thing I can do to increase sustainability and equity in my use of world resources. So many people see the world as separated into geographical areas and we assume that our behaviors don't affect others outside of our boundaries. This is very untrue. There is wide scale starvation occurring in many places around the world and the citizens of the U.S. are unfairly using somewhere in the ballpark of 80% of the world's resources (Rich Christians in an Age of Hunger, Ron Sider). There is enough food to go around! But we need to be smarter and less selfish in how it is consumed and distributed.

Additionally, here is a short excerpt from Disposable People: New Slavery in the Global Economy by Kevin Bales:

"Economically driven destruction is sweeping like a tidal wave across Brazil. Before it are the scrub forests of the cerrado or the rain forests of the Amazon; behind it are the eucalyptus plantations and the new cattle ranches, planted with alien grasses, emptied of native animals, and providing meat for the markets of cities. . . As the native ecosystem and peoples are uprooted, displaced workers, even the urban unemployed, became vulnerable to enslavement. The people caught up and forced to to carry out the destruction of the forests live without electricity, running water, or communication with the outside world. They are completely under the control of their masters. . . In this case, the people who live in the forest and rely on it are usually the ones forced to destroy it. Tree by tree, the hands of slaves wrench the life out of their own land and prepare it for exploitation."

BAM

Isn't it amazing how our hearts can play cruel tricks on us? Just tonight, on my way home from work, I saw my ex-fiance' walking into the grocery store. Prior to this sighting, I have been moving along freely, not missing him, even thinking about getting back into the game. BAM. There he was. My arms literally steered my car over a curb into an empty lot and parked. Then I walked into the store, grabbed a basket--I don't know why, I didn't need anything--and walked around cautiously looking for him. After a few moments, my mind relayed the fact to my body that I looked silly walking around the store not getting anything, so I began pulling things off the shelves and filling my basket. I ended up with a block of cheese, Mrs. Dash, peppermint tea (of which I already have two full boxes), soy milk, baby carrots, granola, and an enormous bag of apples I won't possibly finish before they rot.

Finally I found him--at the meat counter. Odd. He's a vegetarian. Suddenly, I just wanted to touch him, as though these past few months he had been dead but now he stood before me alive. His locks were exactly the same--tied back just like he always wore them. He had his glasses on as usual, and a crisp white shirt with dark jeans. He looked really good. I took a moment for personal assessment. Hmmm. A silly pink t-shirt with Tinkerbell on it. Great, real mature. Dark blue "lounging" pants speckled with baby schmootz. My hair? Well, I'll just leave that one alone.

I found myself wanting to fill him in on everything I've been doing--school, quitting my job, all the amazing stuff I'm learning, the research proposal I'm working on that I knew he'd be proud of. I wanted to throw my arms around him and feel his strength as I pressed my head against his chest. I just wanted him. Not "wanted" him. I wanted him. But I couldn't have him, and I can't have him. Not only because I broke up with him. Not only because he turned into a controlling meany. Or even because he once half-threatened to hit me.

I couldn't have him, because when he turned around--it wasn't him. It was some other man. Some other man with the same locks, glasses, and build. Some other man, about whom some other woman was probably thinking.

Much Ado About Gas

Ahh, gas. Yes, the funny little thing our bodies do, most usually at the worst times possible. So, if we all do--especially men--they why is it so horrendously embarrassing, particularly if you do it around a guy? Who knows. I suppose it could have something to do with the smell. I like to think of farting as nature's way of telling us what our colons smell like.

Have you ever thought that? I do all the time. When I get a whiff of that methane, I think: "Wow! I'm inhaling the air that was just in someone else's colon!" Lovely.

So, I mention this as an introduction to a little problem I've been having. Recently, I switched over to a vegetarian diet (I can get into "why" on another day--I do have a paper to finish writing tonight) and my system apparently really likes the status quo. I have pretty much been bloated constantly since going 100% veggie about two weeks ago. Well, my system is revolting, my roommates are revolting, and I just plain smell bad 9 times out of 10. What to do?! I know this diet is much healthier for my body, so shouldn't my colon be thanking me? Ungrateful, lowly organ! Hopefully, it will regulate itself as I continue to expel 29 years worth of toxins. I wonder if my dad (a mechanical engineer) could somehow measure the psi in my belly?

Grad School Blues

I am still very nervous about writing papers for grad school. I've written three so far, but haven't received grades on any of them yet. I would feel much better if at least one of my professors would get a paper back to me with a good grade on it. I know that I have excellent writing skills, yet, I feel nervous that my undergrad skills just aren't going to hack it now. All of my professors keep reminding us that "we are in grad school now" and the bar is much higher.

The other thing that is bothering me? Jaina Cronkrite. My toughest prof so far keeps referring to her papers and her research. "Check out Ms. Cronkrite's work online to see an example of a good paper." "Jaina's research" this and "Jaina's research" that. Most recently, he said he got a call from her saying she had posted one of her book reviews on her blog and the author of the book happened to read it and wanted to officially publish it online. Darn that suck-up Jaina Cronkrite!

So, instead of focusing on my paper as I should be right now, I am posting here. I am feeling completely overwhelmed with all of the work that I have before me--especially the two huge research projects. I have been so busy keeping up with all of the smaller weekly assignments that I haven't even touched the research yet. Another concern is that this is the first time I will actually be performing the research--not just reading someone else's. And then there is the issue of colons and semi-colons. What the heck are these two little buggers and when in the world do you use them? I've checked multiple sources and they all seem to have slightly different approaches. I bet Jaina Cronkrite gets them all perfect. Bah Humbug!

I just want to go to my sister's, hang out with my neice and nephew, and then watch a movie. Who's decision was this grad school thing anyway!

A new battle to fight

It seems as though it has been a millennium since I have posted on here, but I'd like to try and be more faithful. Over this time, though, my life and circumstances have changed significantly.

I look back at my suicide attempt as a huge turning point in my life--true, there have been many failures and mistakes since then, but the general trend has been up. That's encouraging! My eating disorder no longer rules my life as it did when I started this blog, yet I continue fighting battles on many other fronts.

Just a note about my eating issues: I am a beloved woman! And I am a lovely woman--it has taken me such a long time to come to a place emotionally where I could joyously pronounce that. I will still have some days here and there when I feel a bit "unhappy" about my body, but those moments are mild and infrequent. Sincere and effusive praise to God for this change! I attribute it to God transforming my heart into one that looks outward with love for Him and others rather than inward with selfishness and self-pity.

This transformation that God is doing brings me to some of my new battles. Since I was very young, God has been in the process of building and shaping my life experiences to develop in me a heart of radical love and willingness to do radical things. As I have been learning, though, these things are really not all that radical. They are simply what Jesus did, how He lived, and how the early Christians for centuries lived.

So I am now at the Campolo School for Social Change (Eastern University) working on my Masters in Urban Studies and Community Development. I'm not entirely sure where this is going to take me, but I know that God has called me to live out the Gospel of Jesus Christ authentically here in Philadelphia. I have completely fallen in love with this city, and every day, I am more and more confident of my decision to move to the city and be here among her people.

So, these are my new battle fronts: Urban poverty and homelessness. (I met a homeless man in Rittenhouse Square the other night. Most people just write the homeless off, but a friend and I actually talked with him, shook his hand, and learned his name. During our conversation, we learned that this man was actually drug-free--it was obvious by his presence of mind and it's easy to identify someone who is fiending, aka, desperate for their next fix. This man wasn't able to work because he didn't have a home, an address, a place to get good/safe rest. He didn't have a bathroom to get clean and presentable clothes to wear. So, he got connected with a Salvation Army shelter in Roxborough, but had to wait for a bed to open. So, he was just stuck on the street until he was able to actually get admitted.

According to the early Christian writers, if you had an extra bed/bedroom in your home and there were any homeless on the streets at the time, you were considered guilty for keeping them homeless. Also, if you had an extra shirt and someone was without clothing, you were considered guilty of stealing from them.

I am aware that these ideas probably sound outrageous and unrealistic to most of you--yet I pose the question--ISN'T THAT EXACTLY WHAT JESUS WAS IN HIS ERA? That is why He was hated by so many--because He was teaching and living something radically different from the culture and beliefs of his day. Just the same, I believe American Christians need to reevaluate their lifestyles asking the really difficult questions of how Christ would want us to live in our time given the unique problems facing us nationally and globally.

That was a tremendous tangent. Back to my new battles: Pervasive drug use leading to death, crime, unemployment, homelessness, children in foster care, lack of education, etc. Also, Human trafficking (sex slaves: right here in Philadelphia is the largest pornography ring in the U.S.--it is feared that they are using our middle and high school girls for photo and video porn--but it is all very secretive) Another huge issue is Education and the dramatic gap between the achievement of black and Hispanic students and white and Asian students.

I am coming dangerously close to rambling, yet this is only a small sampling of the serious issues that are facing our city today. As a follower of Christ, I am called to address these issues and take care of His children here in Philadelphia. Anyone wanting to get involved taking care of these "orphans" and "widows," please contact me and join in my community of hope for Philadelphia.

• DOWN WITH SELF-CENTERDNESS, UP WITH LOVE!!!!!!